Where Were You?

(hollow)

2006-06-05T18:10:00.000+05:00

gone (:

with so many light years to go
and things to be found
i m sure that we ll all miss her so
its the final countdown...
the final countdown

bihag has been a fav.

2006-06-04T17:36:00.001+05:00

kuchh log ek roz jo bichar jate hain
woh hazaron ke aane se milte nahin
umr bhar chahe koi pukara kare unka naam
woh phir nahin aate,
woh phir nahin aate

agar tadapna pade yaad me zindagi
rok lo rooth kar unko jaane na do
baad me pyaar ke chahe bhejo hazaroon salaam
woh phir nahi aate
woh phir nahi aate

subaah aatee hai
raat jaatee hai
subaah aatee hai
raat jaatee hai yuhin
waqt chalta hi rehta hai rukta nahi
ek pal me ye aage nikal jaata hai
aadmi theek se dekh paata nahin
aur parde pe manzar badal jaata hai
ek baar chale jaate hai jo din raat subaah shaam
woh phir nahi aate
woh phir nahi aate

zindagi ke safar mein,guzar jate hain jo makam
woh phir nahin aate,
woh phir nahin aate
- Zindagi ke safar main - Kishore Kumar (1974)

life brings me to literati...

2006-06-03T07:12:00.000+05:00

top
Originally uploaded by sarahh.

imma geek for this. literati is yum.

bottom
Originally uploaded by sarahh.

so they say... seeing is believing hm?

2006-05-21T19:00:00.002+05:00

the easy way to edit your old entries is to pick a blogger skin (with less contents in the sidebar) and click click click. easier said, easier done.

as much as i love summer, i hate it. i become lazy. worn out. and i do nothing at all. i wont complain. its not that i m living my dream either. not bad except its boiling hot. long and warm days. how cruel. moreover, people stink. THEY STINK ALL THE TIME. the least they can do is take a shower three times a day. is that too much to ask? people in liberty, are you even listening? its almost impossible to walk with your nose and half mouth covered with dupatta but the stink so stinky, always sneaks in the dupatta.

you guys! you just dont appreciate good movies anymore. the incredibles? i mean jesus... the kid runs on water!

june 9, come sooon. june 9, come home to papa.

girl talk

2006-05-18T21:54:00.000+05:00

two girls talking while high

girl 1: aunty apni zindagi se khudh baree tung hain.
girl 2: jese aunty ki zindagi guzar rehee hai wesee ke liye main kuch bhee ker saktee hoon
girl 1: kia ho gya hai
girl 2: sex toh ker letee haina

*after 1 second both are rolling on the floor literally laughing their asses off*

yehi rab di marzi hai

2006-05-15T18:35:00.000+05:00

salwa and me are addicted to:

preet ki lat mohe aisi lagi
ho gayi me matwari
bal bal jaun main apne pia ko
ke main jaun wari wari

mohe sudh budh na rahi tan man ki
ye to jane duniya sari
bebas aur lachaar phirun may
hari me dil hari

tere naam se jee lu tere naam se mar jau
tere jaan ke sadke mei kuch aisa kar jau

tune kya kar dala mar gayi mei mit gayi mei
o ho ri haan hhan ri hogayi mei
teri deewani teri deewani

ishq junoon jab hudh se badh jae
hanste hanste aashiq suli chad jaye
ishq ka jadoo sar chad kar bole
khoob laga lo pehre, raste rab khole
yehi ishq di marzi hai yehi rab di marzi hai
tere bin jeena kesa
han khudhgarzi hai

tune kya kar dala mar gayi main mit gayi mein
o ho ri haan hhan ri hogayi me
teri deewani teri deewani

hey me rang rangili deewani
hey me albeli mein mastani
gau bajau sabko rijhaun
hey mei deewani mei deewani

tere naam se jee lu tere naam se mar jau
tere jaan ke sadke me kuch aisa kar jau
tune kya kar dala mar gayi mei mit gayi mei
o ho ri haan hhan ri hogayi mei
teri deewani teri deewani
- Teri deewani, Kailash Kher

for you

2006-05-11T15:25:00.000+05:00

so chris daughtry is booted off (shocked btw).

haw.

taylor, anyone?

2006-05-10T20:47:00.000+05:00

oh your love thawed out
gonna give you all my love, boy
didnt know how lost i was
until i found you
i was sad and blue
like a virgin
you re so fine and you re mine
you made me feel
i've nothing to hide
and your heart beats next to mine
yeah, you made me feel
shiny and new
my fear is fading fast
'cause only love can last
i made it through the wilderness

mj (l)

2006-05-08T20:31:00.002+05:00

be careful of what you do cause the lie becomes the truth
billie jean is
billie jean is
not my lover
not my lover
not my lover
not my lover
o.
he-he-he-he
so take my strong advice, just remember to always think twice
shes just a girl who claims that i am the one
but the kid is not my son
the smell of sweet perfume
this happened much too soon
billie jean is not my lover (she is just a girl)
billie jean is not my lover (she is just a girl)
billie jean is not my lover (she is just a girl)
billie jean is not my lover (she is just a girl)
(do think twice)
cause the lie becomes the truth...

2006-05-02T04:43:00.000+05:00

you little fucks.

despicable.

2006-04-30T20:10:00.000+05:00

as 7 turns into 8 i realized how much i have ccome across and how calm i am in the midst of these taxing series of circumstances. i guess chaos does breed sentience. i do not regret. it is not what i do. its not my thing. honestly, i ve been fucked up so many times that there is literally no room in my thought for that sort of deposit. the trouble with life: no background music. and that adds upto boring life.

it is funny how my love for people flows and wanes. it is truly erratic. one gentle word and i melt like a mass of sun-baked taffy. there are no ifs in my shitty world. only whens. i m sure i m not making sense to you at all but this is the way it goes. lets just say i m locked somewhere.

how much can i get away with and still go to heaven?

what is the height of literati? thinking how much points you would ve gotten if you placed just a word hither. horizontally it would give you this much points and vertically it would give you no points. where are all the 2ls' placed in the table? waiting for a person whose rating is 1900+ always is hard (the rest all are very slow and less competition) small fishes are easy to catch and impress. what you re looking for is unavailable. always.

night. what a beautiful time it is. did you ever take out time and appreciate the beauty of night?

2006-04-25T18:15:00.001+05:00

there is this imminent misfortune that will just not fuck off. i cant even make out if its there. fuck. i dont know whats wrong. i feel like a badly behaved child who has let down too many people at many occasions. or someone who is not willing to grow up in stilettos and lipstick. cant fucking stop. just like i cant stop smoking or hating :|:|

anyways, a pointer. alive, okay? hmm, and i promise i wont laugh if any of you tell me you actually cried at the end or in between the movie :p i was pretty much dumbstruck myself. boo!

aahh, with all thats being going around and everywhere else in the world, atleast i have plenty of chocolates and cigarettes. not to mention a well-mannaered boy sending me MMSs' every now and then. oh yeah, lifes good. lifes real good :).

DSC03750

2006-04-23T18:39:00.000+05:00

DSC03750
Originally uploaded by sarahh.

strawberry lovers lets dig in :d :d

2006-04-21T20:43:00.000+05:00

are you happy and gay? bleh

DSC03337

2006-03-26T20:34:00.000+05:00

DSC03337
Originally uploaded by sarahh.

is this love that i m feeling
is this the love that i ve been searching for
is this love or am i dreaming
this must be love
cos its really got a hold on me
a hold on me...

2006-03-07T17:45:00.000+05:00

a lie well stuck to is as good as the truth, i believe.

on a completely diff. note, must remain patient! haste makes waste.

chaste makes waste.

haste makes waste.

worry often gives a small thing a big shadow. big. big.

must...

...remain...

..calm..

BULLSHIT!

deep pockets

2006-03-03T15:34:00.000+05:00

it goes without saying, i missed my blog. the whole plot- our gov. blocking the blogspot links and shit for whatever reason (i m sure its stupid). i actually missed it as if its something living :| :| and thanks to the computer wizard who has exceptional qualities wwhen it comes to ccomputer lingo, too (which i dont get at all btw, nor am i interested) i can view all blogs now.

let me remind you of the point of this blog again. to yank bits and pieces of gold from my brain and type them up, also to look back at old times and go 'wtf'. not bad. okay what the fuck were you expecting?

everything is relative. and the truth is my cheeks hurt from smiling. turning EVERTHING into hilarity and hopping about the house like some stupid teletubby character (who are funny when stoned only, right?) :p

hmmm, and americon idol updates, people! i know i m not the biggest fan but come on the show is fun and gay and the judges are adorable. plus, its good time pass. another reason to discuss the cocky-ness of simon.

grease, any takers? ANYONE? :|:|

2006-02-21T19:01:00.000+05:00

neend aati nahee, sari sari raat
koi tuj sey kahay, mere dil kee baat
aik tu jo nahee, aaj mere saat
mujh ko veeran lage, saari kaynat
- neend atee nahi, junoon

neglected hearts learn not to care

2006-02-20T19:25:00.000+05:00

blogging has been a disaster. there are times when i think of removing the ol' blog. but then i realise, ohmygod, cant happen. like everything this has to come to an end too. its hard to acknowledge. this fact. bahut ajeeb hai.

i ve so much in me. so much rage and hurt and love. i cant possibily evolve in a day or a week or even a year. my biggest mistake: giving everything away to anyone who feigned interest and affection. i ve folded so many times. i ve allowed others to tell me how wretched and noxious i am (which may very well be true-sometimes) but i ve never stopped trying to be better. i am far from perfect. i am all flawed and down right rotten in certain crevices of my being.

pata nahi, har ka point kia hai? :\ of everything? i mean, just when you think okay, the meaning of this this this stuff is this. it turns you infront of a totally outrageous situation. and you huh what a fool, i am! how adorable :s

kher, wo, pata nai. tupac haina. wo bus acha hai. bahut zayada wala :|:|

2006-02-15T14:08:00.000+05:00

happy gullabi day, quoting sadaf.

bwahahah. sadafff, you re the win man.

so since its saint valentines day aka gulaabi day and love is in the air naturally. you having a valentine does not matter but if you already do, this day cant get any better.

though there were very less cheapasses in our college yesterday. there were a few girls. but they were enough to entertain us and give us the pwer to be "mean girls" for once.

zainab: yaar uski shakal dekho, lagtah hai fuck ho ker aii hai.
sana: hahahah
sara azeem: unth ho gayee hai
suniya: maza nahi araha. last year zaayada mahol tha.
sana: hHAHAHHAHA wo dekhooooooo patanga.
sara: haan basant aarehee haina iss liye.
sana: nahi pagal wo chokidar urha raha hai. OH MY GOD. aur wo red color ki hai.
me: HAHAHAHA holy fuck. mujhe bhee dikhao *makes her way tthrough the crowd*
sara azeem: HAHAHAHAH *high five*
me: yeh toh joke pe joke ho gaya
zainab: yar tum log sirf uss lerki ki shakal check kero,lagtah hai fuck ho ker aii hai
sana: yar uski tasweer lo.

*girls around were now laughing their asses of at what we were doing*

sara azeem: farah imran ki cheapness aur uske jogger nahi utray 3 saal hone wale hain
me: nadia k white rooh wale kapray bhee nahi utray bachpan khatam ho gaya mera
sana: asma safdar apne ganday baal jo khol lete hai
suniya: tum sirf farah ki kaali glasses check kero
zainab: lag raha hai uski shakal se k wo fuck ho ker aai hai

everytime zainab says that EVERYONE burst into laughter - i think more because the way she she says is funny, indeed.

sana: aao bahir driver ko dekh ayein.
me: yeah.
zainab: YAAR TUM LOG USKI SHAKAL DEKHOOOOOOO LAGTAH HAI FUCK HO KER AAI HAI

and everyone does that de tali wala scene and off to their respected places.

fuck fuck FUCK

2006-02-14T14:55:00.000+05:00

all the kids and adults who kiss their teachers asses for a better GPA and shit. on the names of innocent thousands of victims, i pray you spend the rest of eternity with your stinking round hairy belly un-employed husbands roasting in a jet-fueled fire in hell. you bitches need to go jail for FUCKING LIFE. fucking wannabe mother fuckers, everytime figuring out new ways to rob hard workers blind :| SLOW THE FUCK DOWN! you overfed faces getting pulled and lifted and stretched, all taut and shiny, pass the ball and move the fuck on! MOVE THE FUCK ON!

fuck the teachers who have a problem with my fucking eyebrow piercing. who also think its not a fucking "dhung ka fashion" and pin point me in every class. EVERY. this just shows that you ve a very tiny brain and if i rolled it down the edge of a razor blade, it would be like a lone car going down a six lane highway. why is it that the people with the smallest minds always have the biggest mouths? bitches, GET A FUCKING LIFE.

fuck the girls who think they re all that. jo shareef banti hain esp. when they re NOT at all innocent. then they go 'haye allah meri tobah wo us lerke k saath thee'. i swear, they re all on my list. and the parents who actually admit the fact that their children are very shareef. who believe the horrible truth that their children dont drink, smoke and other shit. all masturbatory, feeble-minded glob of grease. tsk.

fuck backward-ass, cave-dwelling, fundamentalist assholes everywhere. fucking fascist pigs. what are you all doing here? dragging your asses half way around the world, interrupting your own fucking lives. for what? you iignorant dick weasels.

fuck the molvis' who put their hands down some innocent childs pants.

fuck chelski boys with their waxed chests and pumped up biceps. going down on each other, jingling their dicks on every sports channel.

fuck me? FUCK YOU! andd this whole city and everyone in it.

treats

2006-02-09T18:23:00.000+05:00

DSC02981
Originally uploaded by sarahh.

green-ness. too bad, will have to see these socks and all that next year now. winter - almost gone.

DSC02978
Originally uploaded by sarahh.

cotton candy love aka lacha. cant believe i know somebody who HATES cotton candy. like doesnt hate the normal amount. really really hate it. amnah, how can you :( sadness phail gayee.

also, too bad, they dont keep any nakli money in em anymore. hmpf.

DSC02977
Originally uploaded by sarahh.

'course \m/

hirray, want?

2006-02-04T22:57:00.000+05:00

sooo... time for the song recommendation(s) of the day people.

first of all, heat of the moment by asia. found it on aiyan's blog. pop lovahs' you ve just got to check this one out and years from now you ll tell your children 'bout how you were struck by the pop bug and how one randomn day you listened to heat of the moment and were struck by the 80s bug. as for the classic lovers well you might have already heard it. if not then download it you ll fall further in love with oldies.

secondly, all i have to do is dream by the everly brothers. this is the 50s 60s. so extreme classic lovers this is for you. hah, funny this song makes me feel like singing with someone who knows all the words to this song :| its very beautifully sung.

also, just gotta lovvve bryan adams, hokay??

turn it off

2006-02-04T21:05:00.000+05:00

there are somethings that are inevitable. there are things you can only wish for and never have, things you really want but cant have ever. there are things you already have but dont really need. you cant exchange it for better or for worse, how ironic. stop bullshitting your ego and yourself by saying 'nothing is impossible'.

sometimes, you also go through real tough times (most of us go through it all the time but thats a totally different story). until that time comes you never realize what you actually have. when you re "in" the moment, you cant make up your mind 'bout things only when its on its way out of the door, you go 'aww man'. everything is to be broken. dreams, brackets (the one stuck on my teeth), wishes, plates, cups. and oh yes, promises bhee. you need any exmaple for in evitability? hmm, well breaking someones heart or someone breaking your heart is perfect example. that one person, who takes your heart away and in return gives you alot of meaningless dreams and desires, hah, you assholes you people are freaking lucky dudes. but that all depends on how you look at that thingi. no matter how much heartache that person brought, no matter how fucking far you ve come across since your hearts were aching really bad :| that one gesture will change everything, strike somewhere really deep (you didnt even knew that deep abyss existed until that smile embrased you). AND THAT THING WILL WIPE AWAY ALL THE HAPPINESS YOU GAINED (which now seems like forever?) and oh the feeling will rush back, will give you the pleasure, for a simple second or perhaps for eternity. that special someone.

one thing i know is that i wasnt meant for this world of saplessness. i believe i m on my way out. every passing moment i am getting closer but its sure to take long :\. i need to be a bitchy little anchoress for a while. frankly, the things i have invested time in have given me nothing but bruises, NS damage and physical pain.

oh fuck, i dont care bout it now. every breath you take is on :)

2006-02-02T17:22:00.000+05:00

Have faith in nothing or you'll believe everything.

2006-01-26T04:03:00.000+05:00

DSC02918
Originally uploaded by sarahh.

scrumptious, mouthwatering and a tempting sandwich from kitchen cuisine is all you need when you re studying for persian and so fucking hungry. with mushrooms sprinkled here and there one bite of that inviting sandwich and oh heaven, i say. cursory look on the sandwich, eyes back to the note book, and back to the sandwich again. there you find it. just lying there - tiny hitch-hiker - a hair. you leave the sandwich right there . take a picture, tomorrow the world will know the story of a lonely hair. throw the damn sandwich away. how pathetic.

DSC02965
Originally uploaded by sarahh.

not golden, its yellow'jello

the rikshaw ride

2006-01-24T16:56:00.000+05:00

rikshaw rides are becoming expensive, i say. yesterdays rikshaw ride from shoppe to jail road.

me: HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH
sehrish: sarah, uff, itna zor ka na hasso rikshaw wala kia kahay ga
me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAHAHAHAH usko awaz aye gi toh kuch bolay ga na
mahvash: yar pichle dafa yaad haina sarah ne kia kya tha?
sara azeem: wo kissi ko bhool saktah hai
me: HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHA mujhe bachao i cant freaking control my hassi
sehrish: what the fuck are you laughing at?
sara: jo pichle dafa howa tha shes laughing at that.
me: hahahahaha NOOOOOOOOO you bitches! you dont get it. i m laughing at our situation. with suniya not giving us the ride back to the college.
sehrish: uncle yeh rikshaw ulte ga toh nahi?
rikshaw wala: kia baji?
sehrish: YEH RIKSHAW ULTE GA TOH NAHI?
rikshaw wala: baaji awaz nahi aarahee
sara, mahvish, me: HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH
sehrish: yaar zara right side pe ho k bethna mahviish rikshaw ulta toh yeh dono humare pe giray geen.

*silence for 1 min*

me: hahahaha a a a a a a a a
sehrish: main toh yeh soch rehee hoon agar yeh rikshaw ulta toh saray log jama ho jaye gay main toh side se nikal aao gi.
me: yaar tumhay yaad hai, 1 dafa suniya gaba rikhsaw main phus gayee thee?
sehrish, mahvish, sara, me: HAHAHAHHA

*a guy on his bike falls down, we dont exactly know who was at fault but i think it was the rikshaw walas fault*

sehrish: yaar mujhe yehee utaro. paidal chalay jaye gain. yeh toh maar hi de ga humain.
mahvish: bus saath hi college hai kher hai.
sehrish: kia matlab kher hai? kher hai k hum jail road pe maray gay saath hi omar hospital hai wahan admit hon gay?
me: wese jub tum logo ki shakalain while color ki patii main hon gi na toh meri hassi nahi rukay gi.
sara: beta aap humare saath waheen hon gi.
me: i know that, idiot, laikin phir bhee haassi aye gi.
sara: main tumhay dekh k hasson gi.
sehrish: aur phir hum sub ko wo pagal khanay main daal dein gay?
sara: ser pe gehri chor lagnay ki waja se
me: kitni cheap lerkian ho wese tum

*inside the college*

sehrish: yeh lo pachass rupay
rikshaw wala: nahi baji meney 70 mangay thay. (whats 70 in urdu?)
me: yeh lo 10 rupay.
rikshaw wala: dekhin baji meney apko pehle hi kaha tha. aisaa toh na kere.
me: dekho apko college k ander le ker aye hain, poondi ho gayee. 10 rupay pooray.
rikshaw wala: jee?
sherish: yeh lo 10 rupay
me: shuker hai tumne de diye werna wo toh buss ronay wala hi tha.

look closer...

2006-01-17T23:56:00.000+05:00

I guess I could be pretty pissed off about what happened to me... but it's hard to stay mad, when there's so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I'm seeing it all at once, and it's too much, my heart fills up like a balloon that's about to burst... And then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold on to it, and then it flows through me like rain and I can't feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life... You have no idea what I'm talking about, I'm sure. But don't worry... you will someday.
- Lester Burnham, American Beauty (1999)

2006-01-15T17:50:00.000+05:00

Come up to meet you, tell you I’m sorry
You don’t know how lovely you are
I had to find you, tell you I need you
Tell you I set you apart
Tell me your secrets, and ask me your questions
Oh lets go back to the start
Running in circles, coming up tails
Heads on a silence apart

Nobody said it was easy
Oh it’s such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said that it would be this hard
Oh take me back to the start

I was just guessing at numbers and figures
Pulling your puzzles apart
Questions of science, science and progress
Do not speak as loud as my heart
Tell me you love me, come back and haunt me
Oh and I rush to the start
Running in circles, chasing our tails
Coming back as we are

Nobody said it was easy
Oh it’s such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be so hard
I’m going back to the start
- The scientist, Coldplay

i couldnt agree anymore.

this ones for you.

mercy has no rhythm

2006-01-15T17:41:00.000+05:00

i m on the verge of an emotional breakdown.

complications - they come to me. i take them. pockets full of 'em that i ve even saved some for my soul, just in case. not at all myself today. though happier and healthier i m filled to the brim with inexplicable guilt. i m dog paddling through the mess in my head. my interior has no fire left anymore. i feel as if i am in a perpetual state of mourning. i’m always the easiest to discard by people. friends that once shone like street lights on a lonely night guiding are now ebbing and slowly dieing.

i m sorry. i ve an exam tomorrow. and i know shit. two days ago i was shit studying day night and now i dont even care bout the bloody exam.

i do well with fleeting moments. constancy is too much for me to wrap my tired arms around. so i ll dwell in the depths of this. alone. but damn me, i m still trying to grasp what has come undone. this is going to be a loongg one. this is a gift for a forgetful blunder. i still ve no regrets.

i love you and i m afraid if i ll ever say this to anyone and really mean it. period.

i need a smoke.

2006-01-15T00:39:00.000+05:00

who are you?
how come you mean so much to me?

2006-01-13T21:50:00.000+05:00

literati rating down from 1950 to 1750+ - very sad.

also, theres a bbq thing going on downstairs. really gotta rush.

a note to myself: STUDY BITCH!

2006-01-13T21:37:00.000+05:00

He wept because God was unfair, and because this was the way that God repaid those who believed in their dreams.
- The Alchemist, Paulo Coelho

of eid and buchters

2006-01-13T21:10:00.000+05:00

i m not a big fans of eid. any eid. there are two eids only but whatever. both of 'em.

eid-ul-azha? yeah? thats what we call baree eid, right? okay - so, goats, cows, camels (poor animals esp. camels) get slaughtered. kasayee ki toh def. eid hoti haina. its the season for 'em. animals slaughtered left and right in the name of Allah. i sleep late till the afternoon so i ve no idea who got slaughtered and when.

let me tell you 'bout the one and only time i ever saw an animal get slaughtered.

i saw a camel getting sluaghtered once when i was small. this one eid i happened to be in gujrawala. at night, the speakers of the mosque near by blaring with something related to the camel sluaghering. so we (my big brother and i) planned to go there in the afternoon. we went :S i saw a huuugeee camel there. damn! it takes alot of courage, i tell you. to stand there and see a helpless animal tied up in ropes getting murdered. poora tamasha laga howa tha :s the buchters. ugly buchters. attacking the camel from all different sides. whenever they would strike him with a knife he would move himself so recklessly that the whole crowd stirred with 'ooohs and aaahs'. so finally, the poor animal was able to break through one of those ropes. and people thought it was coming right at 'em. they tried getting out of that place through the narrow streets. my elder brother was pushed by one of those people running for their lives (?). and suddenly his foot got stuck in one of those filthy nallee's [pause] *laugh*. everyone running, the buchters trying to tie up the camel again. and me standing right there, laughing my ass off at what happened to my brother. HAHAHAH. i never stayed long enough to see the whole killing (the animal was half dead anyways, there was no point of staying there) but what i saw was enough.

so - did you eat lots of tattay khappooray, juicy tikkas, and camel meat?

cheese lovah

2006-01-10T20:36:00.000+05:00

DSC02633
Originally uploaded by sarahh.

why cant i move to aix-les-bains. eat all kinda cheese even the one made with ewe's milk, if thats SO not happening, perhaps i can live in this lil pringles box?

2006-01-09T17:22:00.000+05:00

Signed, with a home tattoo, happy birthday to you was created for you.

stoners paranoia

2006-01-08T21:28:00.000+05:00

hitch-hiking across the real world
i am thinking of spending sometime here
blues will always be there if i ever want to go back
my anticipation has fizzled.

for the moment, you can reach me through blogger, only. or if you re thinking of challenging me for a literati game on yahoo. no msn (sorry msn-ers), and certainly no orkut. i wanted to be alone and here i sit exhausted by thoughts that could only be described as those of a person with irregular brain chemistry. when the dust will begin to settle i ll learn to lose trust in my mortal instincts, hopefully. even moth smoke hasnt been this depressing. the good news is i ve plenty of hash left.

*starts purring with ali azmat neend atee nahi saree saree raat koi tujhse kahay mere dil ki baat - aik tu jo nahi aaj mere saath mujhko weeran lagay saree qainat*.

Hhhhhhhhhhhhh.

2006-01-07T19:22:00.000+05:00

You’ll remember me when the west wind moves
Upon the fields of barley
You’ll forget the sun in his jealous sky
As we walk in the fields of gold

So she took her love
For to gaze awhile
Upon the fields of barley
In his arms she fell as her hair came down
Among the fields of gold

Will you stay with me, will you be my love
Among the fields of barley
We’ll forget the sun in his jealous sky
As we lie in the fields of gold

See the west wind move like a lover so
Upon the fields of barley
Feel her body rise when you kiss her mouth
Among the fields of gold
I never made promises lightly
And there have been some that I’ve broken
But I swear in the days still left
We’ll walk in the fields of gold
We’ll walk in the fields of gold

Many years have passed since those summer days
Among the fields of barley
See the children run as the sun goes down
Among the fields of gold
You’ll remember me when the west wind moves
Upon the fields of barley
You can tell the sun in his jealous sky
When we walked in the fields of gold
When we walked in the fields of gold
When we walked in the fields of gold
- Fields of gold, Sting.

winter holidays

2006-01-05T20:04:00.000+05:00

the baddest thing 'bout these winter holidays is that i ve become lazy. i sleep at 4/5 am and wake up at 3 in the afternoon which has disturbed the whole routine of waking up at 8 in the morning. with exxams coming up 'nd the fact that i dont have complete course books and the syllabus. except a few notes of psychology and persian lying here and there (which i will have to find in my messy room). i m gonna die soon.

but before that - i want adventures, i wanna hangout, i want a chandler bing :(

DSC02598

2006-01-04T23:11:00.000+05:00

DSC02598
Originally uploaded by sarahh.

my obsession with red nail color has almost died. well, the good thing is, it lasted exactly 1 and a half week. i ve ugly hands, please ignore. but look how shiny :d

2005 - a review

2006-01-02T19:33:00.000+05:00

listening to seasons - chris cornell

lets take a look back, lets also revive the spirit of this blog.

Jan 05 - new friends. 8 to 4 bunks, alot of 'em (everyday twice a day). sat II. mini golf/sheesha at its peak. this month made me a smart liar. not that i wasnt a liar before. i became a smart liar. and theres a hell lot of diff.

Feb 05 - trip to murree. the biggest plan working out. sexiest weather ever. betrayal. realizing how you know this other person and the next moment you realize you couldnt have spend all these years with that thing. its like your ego saying YOU ARE SUCH AN IDIOT! (you ve no idea how much it hurts when ego mocks).

March 05 - jointing at its peak. knowing F left for merchant navy for 18 months (the last i talked he was in tartus, getting loaded). some people in such lil time can make an everlasting impression on you.

April 05 - exam fever. damn french. damn philosophy. damn studies :| just alot of cheating in the exam room. alot fun with sara azeem seated right infront of my seat.

May, June, July 05 - exam fever over. holidays officially starting. all relaxed. laid back. things working really slow. party whenever. late night fridge hunting. ps 2 at its peak. meeting M, crushed. scrapping farah 24/7 'hayee mujhe wo laa do, partner' 'zindagi kitni badal gayee haii' hahah.

August 05 - result out. passing with flying colors. party party party. deciding what subjects to choose. cousins/friends disappointed even after getting a kickass score in sat didnt go to lums.

Sep 05 - ehhh. burthday. holidays over. college. same old routine, college. home. sleep. somedays go out too. you ve no idea how miserable i feel in this idiotic monotonous routine.

Oct 05 okay - a lil more fun than usual in this month. i dunno what fun. but hanging out alot yeh wo. pata nahi :\ (i know i got myself into it but now i m terribly bored of this shitty review).

Nov 05 - eid? was it? boring. very boring. very very boring. boriy-est :S

Dec 05 - december was the month which flew by 'nd a lot of things changed. major event: zulfi chacha (the driver) leaving. poor guy had tears in his eyes and everyone was a lil bumped. he was a very what you call trustworthy man. this month also told me how stupid i was a year ago :S (while reading the old posts)

lets all say goodbye to the year thats never coming back.

2005-12-29T22:57:00.000+05:00

as much as i enjoy winter i hate it. as much as i enjoy sunny, happy skies a gray day is the perfect contrast to my insides. this skin took more than usual skins do. next time, i m gonna make sure i dont fall for any pink design's skin. they take SO much time for editting than normal blogger skins. i feel drenched as if i ve just climbed a mountain or something and my mother is yammering for the computer to play a literati game. damn you HTML codes :|. this exploding dog picture is supposed to be saying 'when i was young it seemed life was so beautiful'. that is true in every sense. like this time, i didnt even have to edit this shitty template if i were a kid. i dont even like it very much :(

AND WHY IS IT THAT WHEN YOU RE SO FUCKING BUSY THE WHOLE WORLD ON MSN HAD TO MESSAGE YOU AT THAT TIME. EVEN WHEN YOUR STATUS IS AWAY?

ps-thanks afoo for the exploding dog shirnked peekture :]

mangniofied

2005-12-28T20:11:00.000+05:00

27th dec. a day to remember, lets call it that.

with sara azeem being the star of the night and me being the close associate. who went to alle'nora (where she was supposed to get her make up done and all) a few mins before we left for pc. so we reached a room where me and sara screamed to our satisfaction. we were alone. discussed whats happening and whats gonna be next. slowly, everyone started arriving. took the pictures with the photographer. time to get sara to the hall now. so me, sana, sehrish and salwa taking pictures out the room in the corridor like we re on a fuckin' college trip outside lahore. hahah. we cussing, shouting, laughing, pulling each other while the waiters thought we d some kinda fight and we told 'em no this is the way we always are. we dont care if we re in a respectable place we still scream.

the hall: sara thrown on the sofa. while we stood behind it so she doesnt feel lonely. after sometime, we left and let her in-laws did their thing. we found ourselves a table. we took a few pictures there with the photographer and the photographer and the aunty sitting next to me after watching this pic on the cam said 'hayee yeh coo-wiut haina' hahah. me and sehrish were the only ones who heard it so we laughed our asses off while the woan looked at us not knowing whats wrong. okay dinner next. ate a lil salad. and a lil chinese (i still hate it). wasnt bad. so while eating sara's mother comes and says shes calling me. so i go to her and shes like you re the biggest bitch i ve ever come across, you know i m sitting here alone and you re getting your stomach filled there. she was hungry but didnt wanna eat. so i talked with her until dinner was over.

the ceremony: yasir (her fiancee) came along. they both exchanged rings. her ring was beautiful. i didnt get to see it properly though but tomorrow i will. the next thing was the family taking pictures. and sana and sehrish (the bitches. biggest. ever) dragged me out of pc.

outside pc: yes, outside pc. there was a very huge drama. hofcourse, we were there something was bound to go not as planned. sana was supposed to be spending the night at sehrish's place. AND THEY DRAGGED ME THERE. with safia baji (sehrish's maid) holding my hand. so tight. you ve no idea. sehrish told her that i m supposed to spend the night at her place and that ol' bitch she wouldnt let go off me. i was litrelly 'bout to cry there. hopeless. i was. i tried many times but she just wouldnt let go. and then i started screaming help help but nobody came :\ although everyone was watching. like whatever happened to saving someones life? 15 mins. we stood there me crying for help. finally, i got free and RAN MY WAY THROUGH PC. in high heels. with sana chasing me. reached sara, told her they re fucking taking me with 'em, can i go. she said no, but yasir said, go ahead. she ll be fine. heh. so i left.

the sleepover: back at sehrish's place. changed clothes. told ammi i will be spending the night at sara's place. sehrish put on red nail color on my nails which i will show you guys later. late night, we made french fries and put on cheese on bread. just to let you guys know too, me and sehrish live for cheese and high heels. so then we talk talk talk. while talking all off to sleep :\ woke up next morning at like 1 then did the usual: brush teeth, breakfast, tea. at 4 in the eveninng came home. called sara up talked to her for like 2 hours straight 'bout yesterday.

ps-poeple, i m all good although nobody would agree after seeing the pictures.

and the pictures:

DSC02511
Originally uploaded by sarahh.

salwa, meself, sara azeem, sana, sehrish.

DSC02465
Originally uploaded by sarahh.

dont even ask :\

DSC02570
Originally uploaded by sarahh.

the couple.

DSC02498
Originally uploaded by sarahh.

unoshe and sal.

DSC02575
Originally uploaded by sarahh.

the ladies.

DSC02578
Originally uploaded by sarahh.

myself and sara azeem.

tonsillitis - IS NO JOKE, kid

2005-12-22T13:00:00.000+05:00

listening to when will - barry manilow

first, for all the other ignorers like me, the definition of tonsillitis

Tonsillitis

The inflammation of the tonsils is called tonsillitis. The infected tonsils become red and swollen, to work better to trap or stop the disease force - bacteria or virus. They also get coated (either partly or entirely) with yellow, grey, or white substance, depending upon the type of infection and pus formation. Tonsillitis begins with a sudden sore throat and painful swallowing. The tonsils infection is common in children and teenagers but rare in adults.

Causes: (in my case)

It also occurs as an allergic reaction to allergens, for example pollens, cold things, food preservatives, drugs, mechanical injury, etc.

Symptom:

Red swollen tonsils - felt or visualised as a lump in throat

Sore throat which induces constant hawking and choking

Difficulty and pain during swallowing - due to obstruction. Sore throat is felt as tight constricted area, so there is delay in eating, which further produces aversion to food and weight loss.

Difficulty in breathing - due to the blockage of air way by enlarged tonsil. This may lead to snoring, mouth breath and restlessness at night due to sleep apnea (large pauses between two breaths). Due to sleeplessness at night, there will be excessive tiredness in daytime.

Poor growth and development due to air hunger and lack of appetite or aversion.

Excess salivation and dribbling of saliva when mouth breath predominates.

White spots or yellow or grey coating over the tonsils

Painful or painless lymph node enlargement below the angle of lower jaw (lymph nodes. sara, YOU WERE RIGHT)

Avoid:

Spicy and chilly foods

Smoking

two things i really cant live without but i will try. i swear.

Source

i would even upload a picture of my thraot but i dont want to disgust all you people. but click on the link above theres a picture of that thing. you will have an idea what my mouth looks like at the moment. all red :|

the first day (which was like two days ago) i thought its a minor infection. bleh. lets eat hot spicy samosas from our cheap cafe. and the next thing i know is i m lying in bed at night crying my ass off with salwa lying next to me and she asking me 'are you okay?' and i go 'yes' meekly. she also thought i d a lil throat problem. but my tomorrow morning it had gotten worse. i looked at my thraot in the mirror and OH MY GOD to my horror i didnt even knew what the fuck ever happened to it. i thought i lost my voice :\. so i text salwa (not being able to speak) i ve this this prob and she said she ll come home and take a look at it. she looks at my throat and calls my doc aunt. she tells on the phone that i ve tonsillitis, gave some medicines. but this morning i went to see a doctor again and he gave some more medicines and says 'aapko toh tonsillitis hai bahut zabardust kisam ka' :(

do you ve any idea? i didnt spoke to anyone in the last 24 hours? no calls? no nothing? been lying in bed all day. fever coming going. not being able to drink/eat ANYTHING? not being able to even swallow your own saliva? its like by now i thought menstrual cramps was the only worst thing but NO, tonsillitis beats that anyday.

i wish i was dead with THAT kind of pain. and with me being SO lucky having a kickass sister, who made my practical copy, bought medicines, came rushing to me on a missed call asking me after every half an hour if i need anything. and ammi making soup/yakhni/tea.

mussay, feeling much better. i m hungry :\ oh wait, soups on its way.

2005-12-19T03:05:00.000+05:00

these two legged people have strange ways of showing affection.

i dont get.

sometimes.

fuckin' psycho prac copy

2005-12-15T17:25:00.000+05:00

listening to dome undone - duran druan

the title says it all. today was an interesting day, on the whole. i fuckin' cried in college. heh. no, i m not outta my mind. i really did. and the reason is even more pathetic than the whole crying. a friend (mahvash) lost my psychology practical copy which was to be submitted last thursday. she was supposed to make it for me today but she didnt and i got really pissed. and i just started screaming at her in the middle of the college :\. then hahah i started cryyyying. i felt bad. real bad. deep inside. because i havent fought with any of my friends in my whole life. it still disgusts me. and i was pissed at meself that i shouted at one of my most sweetest friend over (which now sounds like) sucha bloody cheap reason. and sehrish and sara azeem, at first they couldnt believe i was actually crying and when they finally realized they started taking pictures :| just imagine, and they re sarah are you crying? no you re fucking crying! hahah and *click*. i still have the pic, btw :p

anyway, i went to her in the midst of crying and apoligized like really seriously. i asked her to forgive me and told her what a bitch i am for shouting at her and creating a whole scene. and she goes 'i thought i was gonna lose you - i m so sorry'. hahah, sweetest thing she be. and then i dictated the practicals and she wrote while we ate hot shots, smoking and listening to music at a friends place. i will hopefully submit it tomorrow (now all i hope is that retard teacher takes the damn copy).

DSC02026
Originally uploaded by sarahh.

mahvash the nerd \m/ who i m always teasin' with: 'since you ve got this bloody cellphone you arent a nerd anymore aur tum kharab bhee ho gayee ho' :p

DSC02045
Originally uploaded by sarahh.

this is for amo, can you notice the red bunny? now, lets get a pic of us wearing a lilac g string. not funny? HAH!

i’m gonna see you. see you on the other side

2005-12-10T16:14:00.000+05:00

listening to see you on the other side - ozzy osbourne

i was thinking last night how time moves callously in one direction. forward. fast forward when we re all having a ball. this is true. just take a minute and think bout it. you cannot travel in time. back or forward. the only thing you can do is be in the present, unwillingly or willinglyy. even that is not in our hands. angelus silesius, a well-known philospher said time can be stopped in our mind.

Time is of your own making;
its clock ticks in your head.
The moment you stop thought
time too stops dead.

but how can that be? time cannot be suspended. even if we do stop it in our mental powers. think of all the times we ve been happy and the times when we achieved something in our life and when we were so high we thought our friends were given just one eye :|. thats all history. and memories. we smoke a cigarette, think bout the good times, then go "heh" with a huge smile. and come back to reality.

i m not saying time should stop and bleh. if it did how could we ever laugh at the new jokes? i m just saying there should be a medium we could travel back in time, laugh a lil harder at that joke, maybe refresh our memory a lil. but that cannot happen. nothing can be done 'bout that, just like death. they both can/will overcome everything. and before we even knew - we ll all be worm food.

arms raised in a V

2005-12-07T16:31:00.000+05:00

listening to jeremy - pearl jam

i m the bitch who hangs up the phone on other peoples face while they re blabbering (i.e they re not coming up with an interesting thing).

i m the bitch who laughs crazily after doing that.

i m the bitch WHO FINDS THIS FUCKIN' FUNNY.

Y
A
W
N

2005-12-02T10:01:00.000+05:00

december was always the tough one.

what are you looking at? :|

2005-11-27T16:54:00.000+05:00

listening to the blowers daughter by damien rice

yesterday night was one of my friends wedding. not close but yeah i know her in college and yeah we re on good terms. sehrish and me were the only ones willing to go out - of the 4 of us. actually, i was not but she SO badly wanted to go so i was the the victim of her please-s'. we got ready together. and NO, never am i ever gonna let any of my friends touch my face. she made me look horrible!

we are such huge duds. we didnt even knew the exact location and we didnt even bring the invitation along. so we stopped at two weddings and asked hot guys standing outside 'is this zahra and faisal's wedding?' hahah, and they going all smiles and then no. and we going awww =p. finally, we reached where the wedding was supposed to be. and we asked some guy is this zahra's wedding and he goes yeah i m her brother, come in. and sat there for whole one hour and she didnt show up! so we left before we could even see/meet the bride and groom. dude, SOME WEDDING IT WAS!

later, sehrish took me on a round of model down doing her stupid fast driving because of the less cars on the road i guess. did crazy stuff at sehrish's place and i came home by 2 all broken.

saturdays are supposed be relaxing in a tiring way. and if they re taken away too, then you should kill yourself. i dunno, whats the need to call for a 3 hour class on a saturday morning. hell, its a weekend, rest in peace all you asses!

DSC01368
Originally uploaded by sarahh.

me and her. heh, her being my bitch :p

DSC01353
Originally uploaded by sarahh.

the innocent victim of her driving - me. yes, i do not love my life so much.

DSC01390
Originally uploaded by sarahh.

i vuvv pink :\

2005-11-24T17:47:00.000+05:00

listening to your time has come by audioslave.

while walking down the street from college today. with my 5 other immediate friends to mc donalds (for those who dont know it is 2 mins away from our college on walking distance). i saw a dick. YES, YOU HEARD ME. dick. a man on his bi cycle popping out his dick. IMAGINE! i didnt notice at first until my other friend held my hand and said OH MY GOD, dick. i looked that way. there it was, coming towards us. my immediate reaction was screaming/running ofcourse. 2 girls litrelly screaming their asses off on the most busiest boulevard of lahore. the other 3 looking at us with paranoid eyes. they d no idea until we started screaming SHIT MAN DICK. we went to mc donalds and told 'em what happened. they obviously laughed their asses off creating a whole scene like we did on the raod. on our way back we saw that man again, and luckily there was police around, so we reported him but by that time he ran away on his fucking cycle.

i had heard so many stories like this before from friends/aquaintances/batch mates but i always made fun of em and now, when it happened to me, i felt SO disgusted :\. i seriously wished i d a cup of hot tea and in my hand - i swear i d thrown it right into his penis. but too bad. anyways, so the question is: what do men get by just showing their dick in public? i mean wtf is so thrilling 'bout that? :|

fittay moo uska

wohoo

2005-11-20T20:37:00.000+05:00

i met my very first crush after SO long today. ussne aur meney lion king 1 ka end bhee akheta kia tha "sega" pe. bwahahaha.

P.S, i m high on him =/

2005-11-19T23:04:00.000+05:00

aitichisons apmhitheatre is a nice place to spend your saturday. it was chilled 'nd the play was fine. they put up a good show.

DSC01077
Originally uploaded by sarahh.

2005-11-17T17:09:00.000+05:00

"Most people love you for who you pretend to be... to keep their love, you keep pretending - performing. You get to love your pretense... It's so true, we're locked in an image, an act. And the sad thing is, people get so used to their image; they grow attached to their masks; they love their chains. They forget all about who they really are. And if you try to remind them, they hate you for it. They feel like you're trying to steal their most precious possession."
-Jim Morrison

swim till you drown

2005-11-13T15:39:00.001+05:00

listening to eclipe by pink floyd

i went to this stupid gala in I.S.C (international school of choueifat) since my younger bro participated in it. and on his demand, i graced him with my presence. it was boring on the whole. 5 hours, watching grade 9/10 and lower children swim is NOT at all fun. a few of the boys were really hairy :\ and a few kids here and there doing breaststroke looked unbelievebly cute. going to isc reminded me of ahmed and people. talking 'bout ahmed, hes back from london (to everyones surprise).

came back, slept for quite awhile and later went to minigolf. okay, now repeat after me, mini golf sucks, minigolf sUcKs, minigolf sUxXxXxX. no it really does. sorry, if i didnt agree with anybody on this before. and people who think it kicks ass. you should go there on saturday nights and witness the whole scenario yourself. you people might be thinking i m obsessed with it or something but im really really NOT. kher, enough with that shit.

DSC00938
Originally uploaded by sarahh.

everything apart, heres a picture of a kickass younger swimmer brother - who helps me make french fries/macronis at 2am when hes on holidays - who also gets irritated when i pass flying kisses at him in public. not forget playing PS2 all night till our eyes hurt :)

dylan - the finest.

2005-11-13T12:11:00.000+05:00

You got a lotta nerve
To say you are my friend
When I was down
You just stood there grinning

You got a lotta nerve
To say you gota helping hand to lend
You just want to be on
The side that's winning

You say I let you down
You know it's not like that
If you're so hurt
Why then don't you show it

You say you lost your faith
But that's not where it's at
You had no faith to lose
And you know it

I know the reason
That you talk behind my back
I used to be among the crowd
You're in with

Do you take me for such a fool
To think I'd make contact
With the one who tries to hide
What he don't know to begin with

You see me on the street
You always act surprised
You say, "How are you?" "Good luck"
But you don't mean it

When you know as well as me
You'd rather see me paralyzed
Why don't you just come out once
And scream it

No, I do not feel that good
When I see the heartbreaks you embrace
If I was a master thief
Perhaps I'd rob them

And now I know you're dissatisfied
With your position and your place
Don't you understand
It's not my problem

I wish that for just one time
You could stand inside my shoes
And just for that one moment
I could be you

Yes, I wish that for just one time
You could stand inside my shoes
You'd know what a drag it is
To see you
- Positively 4th street, Bob dylan

whao, baby, i m the backdoor man

2005-11-09T19:17:00.000+05:00

The men don't know
But the little girls understand
backdoor man - the doors

i live two lives. i ve always lived two lives. we all live two lives. the time when we were kids and the present, we show a face which satisfies other people and their expectations and the other live that we spent in dissappointment, thinking, wondering, fearing, surverying. just that when i m alone, i think of myself in a dark and dying world. fucking paranoia.

"so how was the concert?". didnt go. didnt wanted to go. i went to mini golf instead and smoked two sheeshas alone. although, i d temperature, sore throat, flu. when you wake up at 4 in the morning and start coughing your lungs out, thats when you know how sore your throat really is. we went to al fateh later. and there i saw someone who was not supposed to see me there at that time. my sister was already in a safe place. i hid behind a counter and crawled back to the safe place where we werent seen. when i came back on earth (by standing of course) i saw all eyes were on me and my sister kept saying 'you re a freak'. hahah, i mean what the hell was i supposed to do there when i didnt wanted the other person to see me :|

anyways, spent the afternoon at khalas new home. laughed at stupid ol' time jokes. that was so long ago. seems like yesterday, how cliched but true. its getting cold. i m wearing socks already (partly because i m sick) but whatever. and there is not even an inch of my body which wants to wake up in the morning for an early 8am class.

2005-10-27T22:44:00.000+05:00

listening to hard times by bob dylan

the mids are finally over but its nothing to celebrate 'bout. ramadan came and almost 'bout to go. there was no nothing except the instant craving of cigs/water in the afternoon. but it was fun on the whole. i would actually feel better when i would be fasting. i dunno, something i cant explain.

girls are crazy irrational screw ups save the intelligent ones. girls is an understatement. they are just people with boobs and pussy. theres nothing "girlie" bout em. the girls in my college are really getting on my nerves. those clodhopping klunkerheads. they know shit. i know i sound all "know-it-all" but seriously those girls are just clueless gimps.

anyways, looking foward to the concerts/plays next month. craving for a noori concert. badly. there should be a noori concert, yeah? they deserve my presence at one of their concerts. oh oh, and theres tis concert in my college of all the BEST cheap bands in lahore on the 8th. havent made my mind yet 'bout going there. its always a last minute thing. right now i m so anti-my college. grr...this venting out is not helping.

girls night out

2005-10-20T15:37:00.000+05:00

listening to eternal circle - bob dylan

everyone repeat after me, cafe life sucks, cafe life SUCKS, cafe life SuXxxXxX. it was girls night out yesterday and i dunno who the fuck suggested cafe life for sheesha. anyways, i was dragged there and you already know my views on that horrible place. why? there are two reasons. first and foremost, the sheesha there is pathetic. even more than the ones at al-nakhal. sheeshas' are supposed to make you feel good, not make you puke :| i mean i know everyone says mini golf sucks and blah blah blah but really nobody does sheesha better than 'em. secondly, the crowd. girls on top of huge fat guys (who all look horrible in frenchies). we know you re into each other but sit on top of him or do something else but wtf are you doing by being half on top of him and half on the couch? clearly, nobody will snatch your fat boyfriend.

all in all, the plan was made on a short notice and because i came to college late i heard there were a few fights in between the group too (which is all good now) and how can it be that we are out eating at some place and the management not tells us to keep it down? NEVER. i think he told us to make less noise thrice. we'd more fun than usual because sheeba joined us yesterday.

DSC00444
Originally uploaded by sarahh.

meself and the babe. this girl never fails to bring a smile on my face.

DSC00474
Originally uploaded by sarahh.

from left to right: suniya, sara azeem, sheeba, meself, sana.

DSC00507
Originally uploaded by sarahh.

meself

2005-10-19T07:52:00.000+05:00

DSC00391
Originally uploaded by sarahh.

me and my bitch :D

DSC00419
Originally uploaded by sarahh.

the story of the new haircut...

did you see/feel the earth dancing?

2005-10-09T06:26:00.000+05:00

listening to fade into you - mazzy star

i was online, playing literati with some German guy. suddenly, saw the computer screen moving. a disastrous earthquake hit my city (lahore) and other neighboring towns on Saturday morning. an earthquake measuring 7.6 on the Richter scale. 1500 people already reported dead.. the earthhquake that stopped clocks and awakened people.

in just under 30 seconds, a building was destroyed, everything was moving around me and roads and the ground were so upset -- curving like waves. the floor rolling like the deck of a ship at sea, while out of the window other houses could be seen swaying crazily. the buildings seemed to continue rocking and rolling for what seemed like eternity after the ground stopped shaking.

since i m almost wrong 'bout things like these, i gave the quake a few seconds before i decided to freak out. since it kept getting stronger, i decided to follow the routine and place myself in the doorway.

then the aftershocks.

for those of who were sleeping sound missed real good shit. one thing is for sure, i wont be bragging for about a month that "nothing happens in my town".
fortunately, no injury or damage done to me.

however, i am changed inside.

2005-10-07T08:24:00.000+05:00

theres a common thread of self-sabotage i see in my conscious, and in meself. we have to reach that point where we are so rock-sure of what we want that we just do it. it is very hard to get to that place, especially when we keep putting obstacles into our own paths. but once you do, life is very much simple.

Sleep comes like a drug/
In God's Country
- In God's country, U2

no idea how much i can relate to this nowadays. i sleep like a dead dog. not that i always used to. but its likes a mystery now. i sleep wherever i see a bed. not only for 1 or 2 hours. straight solid 5 or 6 hours. the hours are odd. morning, evening, night, late night, you name it. i can sleep at anytime of the day :S this is actually good (in one way), i dont have to think 'bout smoking since i m fasting and i cant smoke in the middle of the day....

i've been extra cranky lately. its no secret that i’m NOT a fan of the early rise and even less a fan of crowded jail road. something is bothering me really nowadays and believe me many people have gueesed what is it really but none of 'em true. this is typical me. what i REALLY want does not exist. at least not in drugs and thoughts of ill digest. i just hope that this will dull or at least shrink for now. the sting of not knowing drowns all hope thoughts they float, to the surface.

"Life begins when you accept your fate."
-The Process of Belief, Bad Religion

Grr... i ve a class to catch now...

2005-10-07T07:00:00.000+05:00

Sometimes the only way to take a really good look at yourself is through someone else's eyes. If you're lucky, you'll like what you see.
- J.D. of Scrubs

kinnaird spirit puke

2005-10-04T07:40:00.000+05:00

since ramadan is starting from tomorrow (?) in our part of the world our college did a few functions this weekend. One of 'em was swimmmingg gala [didnt go], concert (ep, call, overload) [didnt go], and the welcome party for the freshies. didnt wanted to go but was dragged there. the girls danced on dus bahany, bunty n bubli and all those bollywood songs. i only had the honors to see the first to dances and they not bad (except one). we left and hung out at a friends place.

i havent seen the amphitheatre full with girls this much... hmmm... maybe i ve at another concert. now i remember.

kinnaird spirit *puke*
Originally uploaded by sarahh.

the painful scream that i heard last

2005-10-01T06:20:00.000+05:00

i ve lived a lil part of my life on a thin line between skeptimisim and pessimisim. in my opinion happy endings dont exist which we re all in search of somehow or the other. because the spark, fire we desperately hang on too goes away. i usually expected things to go wrong and when they did i patted meself on the back for expecting it and when it didnt i wrote it off to someone elses good luck never believing it to happen again. but no, today, i for one want things to turn out good for me. grr.. i need a sign thats gonna say its gonna happen and then i will wait for it, patiently, forever if it takes. because every minute of it will be worth it later and i know that.

and look even the yahoo horoscope people agree:
A casual interest develops into something else entirely when you see it in a whole new light. If this happens to be a person, a lighthearted relationship could take a turn and become far more intense and meaningful. Your intense focus will open a brand-new avenue of expression that you didn't know was possible.

i might not sleep regretting it... but useless. twice the moment came and went and i never knew what was happening. arghh...for the moment, all i can do is sit back like a moron....

boy, do i feel ranty today :S

jee, all of you need to know one fact that the 80s are gonna be back and will probably stay for good. and that once music was about dancing and having a good time. like you cant go head banging on your own sisters wedding :|

background music: fool in the rain by led zeppelin

and we'll erect a different steeple.

2005-09-28T03:58:00.000+05:00

a lil update on college: its ok... still havent decided what subjects to choose (call it procastination, laziness, bitch-ness) but there are too many choices. i m not complaining.... its all good. i ll figure something out soon except the problem is i cant :|

the first day in psychology's class. that lame teacher. OH MY GOD. i havent seen such an annoying teacher in months. she made lame jokes all along (which i was not listening to) while the whole class laughed (all the ones who love to kiss their teachers asses) i didnot not even once and because of this thing that loser pointed me out thrice in the class, referred to me as the 'sad girl' and asked the same damn question everytime 'why are you sad?' hell, what is your problem, you bitch!

DSC00153
Originally uploaded by sarahh.

And this is the ultimate refreshing drink in the history of the world (after tea of course).

2005-09-25T16:20:00.000+05:00

listening to paranoid eyes by pink floyd

So this previous night. A sharp knife cut threw my left thumb. It bled. I did not know what to do at that time. Quickly, i went to the band aid box but by that time the blood was all over the floor and everywhere else. I couldnt even put the lame tape on it because the cover was all soggy with blood the only help around was my brother. So, i went to him and then applied the tape. good heavens, the blood freaked me out for one second but fortunately i didnt scream, was quite level headed 'bout the whole thing. hmpphh....

Friday was college. hmmm... not college, just orientation. It was fun. We laughed like hell after sometime. Either that or the fact that we were meeting after quite sometime :S They better give us alot of concerts this time or they re gonna get the bashing of their life on this blog!

Before going to college, i was feeling luke warm-weird and isolated. Separation makes me hate. I lose touch and inadvertently lose feeling. I get paranoid and think that lack of inside jokes and frequent airtime minutes mean THE END. Blame it on the fact that i never fuckin' learned traditional chinese or latin. Ohh, people think i m all obsolete and not not acting human at all. With the insensitivity meter going bonkers this was pretty much expected.

toblerones

2005-09-19T21:15:00.000+05:00

toblerones
Originally uploaded by sarahh.

my toblerone pyramid :d

2005-09-19T04:56:00.000+05:00

listening to muk gayey nay by junoon

*my dreams they aren't as empty- As my conscious seems to be says:
hey u smoking these days?

my dreams they aren't as empty- As my conscious seems to be says:
plain ones?

~when all are one and one is all says:
yeah, both

my dreams they aren't as empty- As my conscious seems to be says:
wowww yaar

my dreams they aren't as empty- As my conscious seems to be says:
1 meree taref se bhi lagaana plz

my dreams they aren't as empty- As my conscious seems to be says:
all frustrated here :(

when all are one and one is all says:
when you coming back?

my dreams they aren't as empty- As my conscious seems to be says:
pata nahiiii

my dreams they aren't as empty- As my conscious seems to be says:
its not that i wanna come bak... i can have sheesha here wenever i want to

my dreams they aren't as empty- As my conscious seems to be says:
buttttt still fagssss

my dreams they aren't as empty- As my conscious seems to be says:
i miss them'

when all are one and one is all says:
why cant u smoke some under the exaust fan?

my dreams they aren't as empty- As my conscious seems to be says:
chalo khair wen ill cum bak il have rosey lips and fresh lungssssss

my dreams they aren't as empty- As my conscious seems to be says:
yaar masla koi nahi hai.. buss im out of fags

my dreams they aren't as empty- As my conscious seems to be says:
and abhi tak chance nahi laga hai khareedne ka

when all are one and one is all says:
alright

my dreams they aren't as empty- As my conscious seems to be says:
oayeeeee yourrrr washroooommmmmm

my dreams they aren't as empty- As my conscious seems to be says:
me n u

my dreams they aren't as empty- As my conscious seems to be says:
u on the commode n me on the floor

my dreams they aren't as empty- As my conscious seems to be says:
how we used smoke mannn!!!

when all are one and one is all says:
hahah, yeahh

my dreams they aren't as empty- As my conscious seems to be says:
aur salwa... used to go in and out of the washroom all the time

my dreams they aren't as empty- As my conscious seems to be says:
aur wet cig ko dry kerke piya tha adha aadha

my dreams they aren't as empty- As my conscious seems to be says:
lolllll

when all are one and one is all says:
bwahahah

my dreams they aren't as empty- As my conscious seems to be says:
horrriiibblllleeee

when all are one and one is all says:
veryy

my dreams they aren't as empty- As my conscious seems to be says:
hehehehe kia cheeze thay yaar

my dreams they aren't as empty- As my conscious seems to be says:
and we used to get high on the sucky joints we made with our own hands

my dreams they aren't as empty- As my conscious seems to be says:
lolllllllllllllll

when all are one and one is all says:
hahahahahhahhaha

my dreams they aren't as empty- As my conscious seems to be says:
nelllllyyyyyyyyyy

my dreams they aren't as empty- As my conscious seems to be says:
oh mujay yaad aaya i hafta go

my dreams they aren't as empty- As my conscious seems to be says:
m out

when all are one and one is all says:
okayyy bubyee

er, rosey lips? here, i would like to say 'PAHA' :S anyways, so the thing is passion is fuckin' overrated. it eventually fades away as time passes by. all you re left with are some memories and laughter in your head. and i think it should be this way, else you get bored and it all comes to a dead end later. everything should end in its own time. although, its not the end, i believe. hmmm, i know i m not making any sense. gah!

heres a silly quote i read somewhere:

When did i realize i was god? Well i was praying and i suddenly realized i was talking to myself.
- peter o'toole

*farah
~me

kehte hain ke ghalib ka hai andaaz-e-bayaan aur

2005-09-16T05:39:00.000+05:00

hazaaron kwahishain eisee ke har kwahish pe dam nikle
bahut nikle mere armaan lekin phir bhee kam nikle
- Ghalib Mirza Asadullah Khan (1797 - 1869)

you ve been tagged!

2005-09-14T22:24:00.000+05:00

Heewa tagged me.

5 years ago: Hmmm... starting of grade 9. every dumb girl was in that class, every. we d so much fun together. had to write 1000 lines and 500 words eassays and if you didnt pass one test you d to write that 6 page long answer 10 times, we d to line up in the recess infront of the whole school if we didnt learn this one question as punishments. we bunked and stayed in a cubicle washroom for 90 mins (two girls each washroom). cover up for each other. hide cell phones. cheating was a normal and the best thing, we would include the on call teacher in it too. you know, stuff like that. school days... good old fashioned rule days...

1 Year ago: Ooh, not so good. i think this was the time when i would wake up with tears in my eyes. lol, its all good now. college wasnt fun, girls were stinkin' kabal se khandaar tak :P

5 songs I know all the words to: countless, limitless, uncalculable. lyrics that are like printed on my mind even better than my own name would be: stairway to heaven (led zeppelin), the end (the doors), coming back to life (pink floyd), with or without you (u2), life goes on (tupac). Not in any particular order.

5 Snacks I enjoy: Polo, toblerone, lays, french fries, apples.

5 Things I'd do w/ $100 million dollars: Go round the world on a cruise with a few friends (yes, the sin city gang included). buy cars, a pair of shoe which was worth 30 000, kickass house, save some for gambling.

5 places I would run away to: Anywhere in europe, france, italy, portugal, lithuania, spain.

5 things I would never wear: err a veil? (but i would nt mind wearing when its too compulsory, you know, dont have anything agaisnt it :S)

5 favorite tv shows: Becker, scrubs, will & grace, the simpsons, and friends goes without saying, yeah?

5 greatest joys: Watching somebody fall while walking, tea and toberlones, the effect music has over you, having a crush on somebody and never letting 'em know, laughing so much with friends while high.

5 favorite toys: (then) ken, doll house, lego collection, (now) mp3 player, cell phone.

5 people I'm tagging: All of you esp. .... (dot dot dot dot) you do this thing!

Cheers!

good old-fashioned rule days...

2005-09-14T22:04:00.000+05:00

Lets start with a lil update on my life. Hmmm... so my father brought me cute digi cam, but lets come to how great its functions are later. Blah, the thing doesnt have that USB cable which is suppose to connect to the comp. And we tried the sony outlets here to get one but they got an excuse "its the new model and we havent got the cable yet". So ermmm screw them?

Anyways, i did a lil shopping today, bought a new pair of shoes, eaarings, a watch. I saw two gays shopping today. Oaye hoye, one was cute. He was wearing this shimmery eye shadow on his eyes and pink blush-on on his cheeks. They were buying these gels and creams for facials and stuff, very judicious 'bout the things they were buying :|. And i met my fav. aunt today after quite sometime. Ooh, shes the only cool friend my mother has. She tells the most funny jokes. She bought alot of stuff too (we gave her a whole list actually). Not too chabby for me. She has the most cool daughters too (though they re not my age). Also, judging from the fact that elder one makes kickass tea :|

You know how annoying it is to type and then correct it before someone else does. Putting this: * after every word. Havent got used to the new keyboard yet. Wait, now i cant find the del. button :S

now playing mental floss by the doors

we're here only to lose

2005-09-09T19:53:00.000+05:00

we are so young
our lives have just begun
but already we're considering
escape from this world
- Join me in death, H.I.M.

:|

i followed my hands not my head

2005-09-08T14:14:00.000+05:00

listening to i just died in your arms by H.I.M.

hmmm... only one day you ignore the poor thing for once and it got lost. now, doesnt that stud know how much i love it and never want to lose it? the fact that its so small you cant even look for it. and it was blue :(

i ve finally made up my mind. i m going to get out of the mess once and for all. my emotional side has taken over for too long while my logical mind went on a holiday. i think it's time that logic took over once again. i should be doing something at least i can live with and be at ease with. hopefully, things will improve... i dunno, take it as a gamble i guess. and probably in time to come, i'd be able to tell the outcome.

i dunno what the hell ever happened to yahoo literati, i cannot find anything interesting to do now :s

are you aware it is possible to sleep for half an hour on the side of the bed at your friends place without ever being questioned? its sweet sometimes.

now december found the love we shared in september

2005-09-07T02:18:00.000+05:00

listening to high by james blunt

I turned 18 today. No, it does not feel old but it does not feel right. I still havent done alot of things which i would ve liked to do by the time i turned 18. Damnit, 18 does sound old. I mean when my sister turned 18 i thought bleh, shes getting old. And oh no, the same is happening to me now. This curse will not end.

I dont celebrate birthdays. For a change, i celebrated my birthday yesterday actually with a few people i can tolerate (you know how i hate people, dont you?). The blueberry cake from masooms was yummy but i was full after having 1 piece. I didnt feel like eating anything after that. I dont like cakes too. Couldnt help but notice i havent cut a cake in the longest time now. I dunnno what difference does it make anyways. It doesnt make me feel any special :S

Heres a fact 'bout this day most of the people who know me dont know this. I m officially 17. See, i was born in the year 87. But the date printed on my birth certificate is 88. Hmmmm...thats a good thing? Apparently, 7 is supposed to be a lucky number for me. 7 is the lucky number for everyone i guess (yes, i believe in all that because it is partially true).

Thanks to everyone who called/sms'ed/emailed/scrapped/sent e-cards. Colorful t h a n k s to the Sin City gang who all wrote sweet posts wishing me on their personal blogs in their own special way :)

something seems to be dead here.

2005-09-04T22:04:00.000+05:00

listening to crystal ship by the doors

PS2, comedy indian movies, mc donalds,recess, pimp my ride, jackass, kim possible, power puff girls, kids next door, farts, burps, coldplay, trying to speak like niggers, trash talk, pizzas, smackdown vs raw, lays, french fries, friends, late night talks, fake british accent, cribs, snake EX2, lil fights, saying sorry, cartwheels, nike, riders on the storm, need for speed, vviva la bam, francais, mini golf, sheesha, simpsons, sharing the same bed, snowcones, putting ice in each others shirts, high fives, wanna be rappers, "love" slaps.

My younger brother left for his fucking boarding school this afternoon. I cant believe i m saying this but i ve actually started missing the ol' weasel already! With all the pros and cons that comes with him, the advantages of having a younger are far more than the disadvantages. He actually was the bestest company this summer. From waking up at 3 in the evening and sleeping 7 in the morning, playing games all night and watching stupid scary movies. From fighting over the remote/computer to brreaking remotes of PS. From watching jackass and laughing our asses off. Lots of high fives and huge burps :P It actually struck me last night that he wont be here tomorrow evening which made me very sad. But all together it was time well spent. And he also confessed that these were his best holidays. Yay.

I got something to satisfy all interests in life but nothing to satisfy myself. What if i could just hide beneathe the pellows of life and drift on like some bimbo droid..wouldnt that be nice? It sure would make for an easy life. If only it were that easy.

Bleh, a new skin, red looks hot. And a new comment system.

Edit: No annoying search/navigation bar anymore.

autumn trees will weep, immune to pity.

2005-09-02T20:36:00.000+05:00

listening to peace frog by the doors

This hot dog is really working out for me, cheese is alot less in 'em though.

Marty gave an excellent perfomance of PF's wish you were here this week on rockstar inxs. I think this was the best performance on the whole show so far. He gives that rock n roll look too. TY left. He was over confident i guess :S Normally i hate guys who cry but when he was crying i felt sad for him. Poor guy.

Brace yourself. September just rolled in, somebody once said: "September is like a month of Mondays". You know what they say 'bout mondays, right?

2005-08-28T03:46:00.000+05:00

listening to i cant smile without you by barry manilow

An e-mail from dad:

Nelly,
These books are not available here. This place is not so western educated as our Lahore. I shall try to get them from India or England.
Regards.

Hmmmmm...ok. First, "our" lahore? :S Second, what the hell was i thinking asking him to bring those books from there? :S Third, since he ll be going to england and india i should ask him to bring me more books. Blehh!

Anyways, so i met this girl who "tried" convicing me for 5 mins that Cardinal is a bad school and harry potter is cool. She was a 7th grader i guess. Apparently, some bullies of her class tried to strangle another bully (who was short in height) on a monkey bar (?) in the playground. And how his face color was changing from blue to purple to mouve. And this was the idea of the guy who was actually beiing strangled :S Hahah, small girl was pretty serious while telling this whole story but i coulddnt help laughing out loud at this stupid story.

After that, i went to my friends place. We selected our major in bachelors (sounds old) which was psychology btw. I'm still double minded. And i'm really giving serious thought studying Spanish. The reason: There was this person i liked and his ex was a latino babe. The reason behind studying french: Jim was buried in Paris. Fellow bloggers and silent readers, welcome to the darker side. Yes, now you can strangle me on one of those monkey bars.

Just for the record, "Recess" these cartoons on the disney chanel, really started to like 'em lately. Its 'bout 6 kids, what they do in recess and thats pretty much 'bout it.

I like nerds.

1011 The One Where The Stripper Cries.

2005-08-23T21:55:00.000+05:00

*[Scene: Chandler and Monica's apartment. Monica's there and Ross and Chandler walk in.]

Ross: Hey, where's Rachel?
Monica: She and Phoebe took the stripper to the hospital.
Ross: Did you know Chandler kissed Rachel?
Monica: What? When was this?
Ross: Nineteen Eighty Seven. The weekend you guys visited me at school.
Monica: Oh my God! That's wild!
Chandler: Yeah, but it was like a million years ago, so it doesn't matter.
Ross: Well, it matters to me.
Chandler: Why?
Ross: Because... the night you kissed Rachel was the night I kissed Rachel for the very first time.
Chandler: You kissed her that night too?
Monica: Two guys in one night? Wow, I thought she became a slut after she got her nose fixed.
Chandler: Seriously, where did this happen?
Ross: Okay, after you told me she was passed out in our room, I went in there to make sure she was all right. She was lying on my bed, all buried in peoples coats. Well, I went to kiss her on the forehead, you know. But it was so dark, I accidentally got her lips. I started to pull away, but then I felt her start to kiss me back. It was only for a second, but... it was amazing. And now, now I find out that you kissed her first.
Chandler: Oh wait... What bed did you say she was on?
Ross: Mine.
Chandler: I'm pretty sure I put her on my bed.
Ross: No, she was definitely on my bed.
Chandler: Why would I kiss a girl, and then put her on your bed?
Ross: Well, then who was on my bed?
Monica: (screeching) OH! Oh, oh! (holding her hand in front of her mouth)
Ross: (realizing) NO! No, no!
Monica: YES! (Chandler gets an "oh no!" look on his face)
Ross: You were under the pile of coats?
Monica: I was the pile of coats!
Ross: OH MY GOD!
Monica: You were my Midnight Mystery Kisser?
Ross: You were my first kiss with Rachel?
Monica: You were my first kiss ever?
Chandler: What did I marry into?

This is by far the most hilarious episode in season 10 including the scene of phoebe's bachelorette party.

* original air date 02/26/2004

eat me i'm done.

2005-08-20T20:24:00.000+05:00

listening to three libras by APC.

Ummm, this has been the longest gap since i ve updated. The reason behind the whole thing was my upcoming result. I didnt feel like blogging nor sitting online and talking crap with people. Even music didnt sound the same. So i thought what better than isolating yourself. The good thing is it worked. Now it all seems like a bad joke but if you could ve seen me two days ago. I was close to feeling like shit :S Tension/depression taking all over me. It was not nice. I scored better than what i'd expected and alot better than my peers. Details later.

I'm done with 12th grade forever.

The best thing: It aint never coming back.

some are born to the endless night.

2005-08-13T05:56:00.000+05:00

Thanks to M (a fellow morrison fan) for this pic.The following picture, as he told me, was taken after jim took a pill. He looks quite worn out but i wonder what he might be thinking standing so tall, looking down :

I wouldn't mind dying in a plane crash. It'd be a good way to go. I don't want to die in my sleep, or of old age, or OD... I want to feel what it's like. I want to taste it, hear it, smell it. Death is only going to happen to you once; I don't want to miss it.
- Morrison (1943-71)

(say hello)

2005-08-09T06:11:00.000+05:00

and tricky time never slows
that moment walked me by without bothering to say

lucky time never stops
that moment knocked me down without bothering to
say hello
- Say hello, Deep dish.

...time... won't leave me as i am.

2005-08-04T21:25:00.000+05:00

and i miss you when you re not around
i'm getting ready to leave the ground
oh you look so beautiful tonight
in the city of blinding lights
- City of blinding lights, U2

Everytime i see this song on tv, it makes me realize how unfortunate i actually am (in an odd way). I havent been to U2 concert in my life of 17 years. And by the time i will be able to i dont think so they ll be around. I ve already missed the oppurtunity to see PF live, i dont wanna miss 'em. But the point here is, i m unfortunate because i havent done anything meaningful uptil now. I cannot even tell my grand-children (if there are any) i saw PF live or/and i cannot even tell 'em how i survived in WW2. I can tell 'em all 'bout the bad things i ve done uptil now. This sucks and obviously doesnt make any sense.

And another bad thing happened yesterday night. The lights went out. And OH. MY. GOD. it was so hothothothothot. I cannot even begin to explain. I dont even see how i slept for 2 hours. The light finally came at 12 in the noon. I dressed myself up after taking a shower. Had brunch, watched a lil tv and then i slept for like 2 hours. while having tea (shit, i feel like having tea right now) i saw this whole one-hour documentary on the discovery chanel of how did alexander the great die. There were of course many theories. You can read all 'bout em here if your interested. The thing i liked 'bout that era was the names of places and people, very unique. The saddest thing was 32 is a very young age to die. I wonder what would've happened to the west if he lived for another decade :
The list of 'summer-book-list' keep increasing and i havent even bought one book yet. That is not because i m unfortunate (?) its because i m so frigging lazy, that to go out of the house i feel very lame :S I cannot enjoy anything even for a lil while when i ve something on my mind eg. the upcoming result nor do i feel like going to places and meeting people. Everytime i think 'bout it my heart beat increases. Screw it, i dont feel like talking bout it :(. Now why wasnt i roxane, i could travel with my bi-sexual handsome and strong husband, alexander and not worry 'bout this thing.

dear boy, have a cigar. you???re gonna go far, fly high.

2005-08-02T20:27:00.000+05:00

The days consist of nothing but random-ness. Theres alot on my mind these days. Every night before i go to sleep i ask myself if i'm sick of being "me". But then i guess i was always sick of me maybe i just gave it some focused attention now. Hmppfff. Either way, i'm a lil sick of myself. Okay, let me be clear, i'm terribly sick of myself. That makes more sense.

I got to see 'becker' yesterday night. Heh, the show is so much fun. Monday nights you get too hear so much laughter.

bored et al.

2005-07-30T22:01:00.000+05:00

listening to pumba and timons blabbering on disney chanel.

[Nelson's friends catch him kissing Lisa.]
Kearney: Aw man! You just kissed a girl!
Jimbo Jones: That is so gay!

Oh, simpsons!!

oh, yet another burday.

2005-07-28T05:43:00.000+05:00

listening to mama i m coming home by ozzy osbourne.

le premier anniversaire heureux (happy first burday) bloggy. You ve been a great source of killing boredom for the past year. You ve gone through many template changes (always chose the best for you because it made me look good =p). I'm using the skin i put on you the first time but with a different color. It reminds me of the simpler times. I would hug you today but lets be realistic. Also, through you i ve come to know a few great people. And you know the rest. Am i still talking to my fucking blogger?

times have changed and times are strange
here I come, but i aint the same
- Mama i'm coming home, Ozzy osbourne.

This guy makes alot of sense :|

sara's burday.

2005-07-27T01:57:00.000+05:00

listening to what will become of me by dave mathews band.

Heh. Must say, its been a month of birthdays.

So, we (sheeba, sana, suniya and me) went to sara's place. Sara's brother dropped us at freddys. Sehrish joined us at freddys later.

It was all regular =\. We ate, we were of course the loudest table around =\. I didnt feel like eating. I was hungry but as soon i saw all the food, i just didnt feel like eating anything. But since sara was giving that treat i couldnt say 'i dont wanna eat' because i know she would ve felt bad bout it. Just to please her, i ate a lil fries and drank the pinacolada. Had tea later. While sitting there i was constantly laughing. I dunno at what but i was. All along =\. It was pretty weird. When the girls asked me why the hell are you laughing i told em i dunno and they made this face and started laughing too =|

Me and sheeba had loads of fun while teasing suniya. VERY entertaining and interesting. Hahah, poor girl was SO annoyed but its always a pleasure to irritate her by making weird jokes (which she thinks; sucks =p). Above all she makes this face which clearly declares shes not enjoying being the centre of the attention.

While having tea, me and sheeba were busy in cracking jokes and laughing. Sehrish accidently flew her hand and it smashed against sana's cup of tea and the tea fell on sara. Hahah, man, me and sheeba already laughing with tears in our eyes saw that and just started laughing even moree. Sara and sana screamed. And everyone got our attention =p It was not at all embarassing. It was alot of fun actually. I think the best thing 'bout today was that incident. Went back to sara's place. Came home, ummm, by 9.

Oh, my literati table is waiting for me. Yes, imma VERY farigh person indeed.

suniya's burday.

2005-07-23T06:39:00.000+05:00

listening to lift me up by moby

Woke up at 11. Did the stuff you do before going to a birthday thing (selecting clothes, shoes etc). Suniya told us to come early since we'd to go lunch and her sisters were waiting. I was late (i usually dont do that) but suniya's lil brother is SO fucking annoying i dont feel like going to her house one bit. I couldnt even stand the fact that he was going with us =S Picked sara azeem on the way, went to suniya's place, we picked sana next.

Went to salt n pepper. I've never been a fan of that damn place, never was never will be. It sucks =\. The environment is not good. The food is not good. Crowd aint good. Waiters are absurd. Managers are even worse. But since everybody voted for it i'd to bear it. While eating, we talked bout how everybody is getting married and/or engaged somehow =S. 4 out of 6 (me and suniya being the single ones) of my friends are committed and if i count all the other close friends in college, somehow or the other everyone i know is committed. Hahah, its actually pretty amazing. To hear all the stories of the fights with sister-in-laws and all. Sometimes i feel like i'm in some kinda sucky show on star plus (pity myself). The lil cute fights b/t their bfs and themselves is VERY entertaining nonetheless.

So, surprisingly, suniya's lil bro behaved. This was prolly the first time i saw that irritating kid behave. Came back to suniya's place. Even before we entered we' told her maid to make tea. Had hot strong cup of tea while sehrish told us stories 'bout her cousins. Salwa (my sis) came to pick me and we dropped sara at her place and went to masooms for some lazania. Too bad they were outta lazanias. So we picked some garlic mayo fries from 1p2p. Came home and watched bride and prejudice. Later i watched my best friends wedding and america's sweethearts (both were on tv at one time, so i was switching chanels now and then). All three were a drag.

Last year, this day was shit. I remember that day very well. And i dunno if i'll remember this day after 20 years or so but right now i do. Thanks to me i am good at pretending i'm over it but i'm not. There are many things i would like to say thank you for but for this day i can never forgive you.

Its really windy outside, i wonder if it'll rain, prolly yeah.

*180 seconds later*

Its raining.

Some two days ago i was awake at this time (5 35 am) and it was raining. I really enjoyed the weather. I forgot how rain makes you feel. How ignorant on my part.

2005-07-21T05:30:00.000+05:00

listening to stairway to heaven by guns n roses (cover)

Family dinners. How BO-ring, no? There is nothing more sickening then a family dinner ANYWHERE. Even with favourite cousins around, its a drag. It has always been a drag for me. Its like making me sit on the commode when i dont want to pee =/ I havent been to any family dinner ermmmm since... like... err.... *thinking hard*... Damnit, i cant even recall =/ And a wedding ceremony inside the family some ... like... 3 years ago. Yeap, pretty much hate getting kisses and hugs from aunties which i ve always hated while growing up esp. the hugs when they re all over you and they just wouldnt let you go. Like, damnit woman, pull yourself together.

Ummm, so today i went to a dinner at my favourite khalas place [i'm convicing another sweet khala to adopt me, that too seriously, not kidding, but i dont think so she'll consider adopting me, ah, never mind :P] The whole theme of the dinner was chinese. Now, did i ever ever ever tell you how much i hate eating chinese anywhere? [i just hope suniya doesnt take us out at a chinese restaurant when she'll give us the birthday treat]. I'm not gonna deny but the dinner wasnt that bad afterall [although i hate chinese]. It was okay, not my thing, but okay.

So, my "supposedly" best friend is getting kind off engaged this weekend. Ummm, not the kinda whole engaged thing but ermmm i mean her in-laws are gonna come and do the whole thing and then later this year there will be this whole big function. Shes covincing me to come to the whole thing. My answer was no of course [only if she knew how much i hate these kinda functions =/]. Everyday i call her up and she demands the same thing (to accompany her). I know shes gonna be fine on her own besides suniya is gonna be there.

Ummm, one thing more, people think imma disser who just cant stop finding flaws in other peoples personality constantly judging them [yes, i agree with 'em, imma bitch :$]. I ve given this whole issue some serious thought and i ve already started working on it (no more being the bitch) but people now actually look forward to what i'm gonna say to the other person which will bring them down. I've the fucking-baddest-habbit EVER just blabbering EVERYTHING 'bout the other person infront of 'em. The truth just comes out of nowhere. This pretty much hurts them VERY MUCH. So, no more of that too (hopefully). And if you dont like the change, screw you, live with it!

apetite fo' guns n roses.

2005-07-19T05:19:00.000+05:00

listening to sweet child o' mine by guns n roses.

I want people to stop giving me those mysterious calls for once [most of 'em out of the country]. They come after a mmonth or so then they vanish. Everytime its a different person. The irony; most of the time i never get to know 'em. But if somebody cares enough to call all the way from blah blah blah island then ii wish they'd the heart to tell who they are because i would really wanna know.

And do you remember this song?

shes got a smile that it seems to me, reminds me of childhood memories, where everything, was as fresh as the bright blue sky, now and then when i see her face, she takes me away to that special place, and if i'd stare too long, i'd probably break down and cry, woo sweet chilf o' mine.

guns n roses. GUNS N FUCKING ROSES!!!

I saw a few episodes of "the joey show". Thanks to my local cable wala. The show is not funny, i dont like the set. I dont like joey's sister 'gina'. I dont like her son. I dont like anything 'bout the show but its entertaining nonetheless. Its weird not to see those other 5 beautiful people around joey esp. chandler bing. Damn, i miss friends though i get to see atleast 5 or more episodes each day =/.

burday blaast!

2005-07-17T21:03:00.000+05:00

listening to i'm a fake by the used.

I downloaded this song, not really my type but still went ahead with it. Now, since i heard that song, every morning/afternoon i wake up the words 'i'mma fake [multiply by 4]' ring in my head. I think i'ma fake =S.

Yesterday we celebrated sehrish's belated birthday. Woke up at 11-something. Played PS2 a bit without washing my face and brushing my teeth =p (damn, i wanted to clear the damn mission which i couldnt do last night). I straightened my hair in like half an hour but right after the first five minutes when i came out of the chilled room, humidity did its job. So my friend sana came over, she started putting all kinda makeup and stuff, and then sara. Both look at me and ask, 'Oh my God, do i look good?' and my answer as always the same, 'Errm, i dont care' =p So they turn there faces the other way. Too rude, but i seriously dont care =/ Suniya arrived the last and we left for sehrish's house.

Next stop, sehrish's home. Bwahhah, the scene outside her house after sana's driver left us. OH MY GOD, i can never forget that. I'm litrelly luaghing while writing this. They dont have a door-bell. The guards are always around, but this time there was no driver and no guards either. So, we four started knocking the hell out but nobody would open the door since there is a huge lawn in between the house. Suniya is sucha dumbass she called on sehrish's mothers cell and goes like 'aunty hum ghar k bahir kherein hain, darwaza khol dain' the reply she got was 'beta main toh iss waqt bahir hoon aap gar pe phone kerein'. She didnt tell us about this convo we thought she called at sherish's house but 'course, it was suniya, something dumb was expected. I went like 'shaaabbbnummmmmmmm, open the door'. The guard finally opened the door.

Now what was supposed to be fun, relaxing time turned out to be straighning hair of three girls without a break for coffee. Sana has the longest hair EVER. By the time i was done, my hot cup of tea was cold and my right thumb had no life whatsoever and everybody was ready to leave for royal palm. i felt like a frigging cinderella in cinderella land where everybody is getting ready and i'm helping 'em =/ but i couldnt say 'no' when they gave me that puppy look besides i'd nothing to lose except a cup of tea. So, we 20-something people in number, left for royal. We waited for other cars to arrive for like 1 hour when they arrived we finally ordered our food and drinks. Came back to sehrish's home. Ate cornettoes, talked, smoked. By eleven i was home.

It was fun. I think i've mentioned it before too i love being in sehrish's company :)

2005-07-15T21:08:00.000+05:00

I need someone to show me
the things in life that I can't find
I can't see the things that make true
happiness, I must be blind
- Paranoid, Ozzy Osbourne.

The whole lyrics of this song defines me. Damn you, just listen to this song.

Horoscope for the week july12 to 18.
Virgo:
Dont postpone confronting emotional issues that could be causing problems. Get them sorted once and for all, before they become too (??????).

Become what too? :S What the..? =S So, even my horoscope agrees with me.

Since i woke up early in the morning today (10 30). I happened to witness something really informative on oprah [love that show btw]. The effects of smoking and how it can damage your lungs, stomach, liver and spread cancer all over your body. And that 200 oragasms in a year stabilizes 6 years of your life, not too bad, eh?

Anyways, courtesy of my stupid net i cant surf right now because its too slow. Hence, no online scrabble [which i'm addicted to nowadays btw].

you've got to be kidding me!

2005-07-14T19:05:00.000+05:00

listening to innocence faded by dream theatre.

There are people who dont have the courtesy to say sorry and expect everything to be okay on their own. Oh ok, i'm not gonna talk bout it because lets face it, you dont need to know =p [i'm not gonna say it doesnt matter because i frigging hate that line, if you want me to be really angry just say 'it doesnt matter', and viola, a sarah hot from the oven.]

I'm so frigging outta my mind these days. I dunno what to do anymore =/ Its sad. I want to use the gift that God gave me and do something worth it. The path whether smooth or rugged i will walk with the truth in my heart. I am a gift, a treasure and someone perhaps a few love me for the lovely beneath my skin. [not the tough-ie who can just bully the cunt-headed cockweasels] =/.

The universe loves and despises me. My luck is a ridiculous little carnival freak who wont do me any good. My karma is fucked. I'm not saying i'm doing the right stuff all the time. I have done a great deal of wrong in this life but i ve been wronged since the day i was born. I'm not going to get all cry baby about my current state of affairs but i must stomp about the world with my middle fingers pointed at the starless sky screaming, "fuck you, damnit, this is just not fair!".

Now, if you'll excuse me, i'll take a cold cold shower.

Mini-golf 'nd sundays 'nd summer = SHIT!

2005-07-11T14:10:00.000+05:00

Typical day - Typical stuff. Woke up at 4 in the evening (?) Since i slept at 5am something after watching this movie entropy. It was sucha farigh movie but i'd to watch it because U2 was starring in it. Kher, so when i woke up in the morning i was told that we'd to go to MG with our khalas cousins. So me salwa and my lil bro pick 'em up from their place, go to mg. Me and sama (my khalas something, i dunno the relation) ordered sheesha and fries [which i love] cokes and the kids ordered their own food.

After sheesha we' had this gola [i dunno whats it called in english or french, but ice lolly would do, no?] whicch was totally cool. I'm a big fan of golas actually. So this gola i'd was *this* big. Size of a 7 inch shoe. It was so big and SO yummy. I havent had SO much fun with a gola in years =p And the flavours on it and condesnced milk. *yum* think my whole mouth just filled with saliva =S One end it was my 12 yr-old cousin (amna) and the other end it was me, both laughing and sucking the poor gola like some mad kids. The area around my mouth was numb =/ Oh, dayem, that was fun and the look on peoples face around us. Hahah, priceless. If you ever go to mg, you gotta try that thing! WICKEDDD!!!

Had cold coffee later and came home, was a fun day even with cheap dates all over since it was sunday bloody sunday. They're touching, putting hand on thighs and then looking at us and making this face as if they're satisfied entirely and that we're poor kids who arent with any men =/ OH MY GOD! Oh, and on my way out of mg i saw jal's bassist 'shezzy'. Yes, hes as farigh in reality as on tv. No change whatsoever =/

PinkFloyd for life. hmpff.

2005-07-03T19:12:00.000+05:00

listening to last kiss by pearl jam

Before i brag 'bout PF, a note to the greatest band EVER: Thank you d00ds for bringing goosebumps to my arms and a lump in my throat and making an ugly girl's heart sing and for the most special and best reunions of all times. Your reunion is prolly the most historic event in rock and roll in the last three decades. Even if you never do this again, you will rule forever.

Bassist - Roger Waters.

Waters and Gilmour on stage I thought it would never happen again until i saw the four of 'em on stage because no one was willing to come down from their ivory towers and let people kiss their asses! Un-fucking-believable, with how stubborn Roger is I can't believe that finally happened. Got a little choked up when Roger mentioned Syd before "Wish You Were Here". Damnit, how often do you see old men litrelly rocking on stage? =D

Ummm... but one thing that was kind of not good was that of the four songs they performed, three of them were songs featuring Gilmour on lead vocals. PinkFloyd catalog is FULL of songs where Waters sings lead, but for a worldwide audience egomaniac had to push Waters and sing three of the songs. At least there was a little Waters stuff in 'Wish You Were Here' and then of course he got to do 'Comfortably Numb'. Roger was mouthing alot of the words while dave sang - he was very into it. I was looking forward to Waters vocals but damn Gilmour =/. This was the setlist:

Breathe
Money
Wish You Were Here
Comfortably Numb

Waters actually smiled while he was playing. And it was him who gathered the rest of the group for the final bow center stage.

Now this is what i call PinkFloyd. A poster in the audience summed it up: Floyd's reunion - Pigs are flying!

Waters said: A Floyd reunion is "highly unlikely" but "never say never." Will hang onto this phrase for the rest of my life until he dies.

Here you can view the rest of the photos.

Here you can see the re-broadcast of live 8.

Here you can join the 25 million people who have signed the live8 list. Lets just not forget the cause behind the whole thing.

A lot of performances by other people were kickass such as U2, Dido, The who, Stereophonics, Madonna, Snoop Dogg but i was totally blown away by PF's performance. Everybody played their part well. They all did it right! But i think metallica should've been there too!

P.S, Thank you God for televisions! And for the patience to let me sit infront of the damned tv for 10 hours straight!

P.P.S, If you think pink floyd is not unique and go like 'pssssssst, whats the big deal'. You can just take your head out of your ass, eat shit, and die.

you know it would be untrue.

2005-06-30T00:37:00.000+05:00

listening to light my fire - the doors

Even though i posted that "i've changed my mind" and blah blah blah i'm not acting upon it. I mean seriously, if theres any dumb person out there in this materialistic world, its *me*. Who cares 'bout what the other person might think if i say this and that. I need to get a life so bad and so very soon before i ruin the one i'm pretending to have. In led zeppelin's words;

You built my hopes so high
Baby then you let me down so low
You built my hopes so high then ya let me down... so low
Don'tcha realize sweet baby
- I cant quit you baby, Led zeppelin.

I start my every post with "so," but then i remove it when i finish writing the first line because i think i use it too much =S. The weather is bearable. Thanks to rain that happened this morning.

I'd my french practical yesterday. It was... ermmm... it... was.... =/... errr... well, it BLEW =/. The dictation wasnt bad. The reading went ok too. But the viva was like shit =/. He asked me four questions or maybe five and i kept sitting there like a deaf dud who cant stop pity-ing [if thats a world] herself. I came out of the room holding my head and everybody was like 'what happened - what happened'. And i'm like 'nothing - i think i'm gonna flunk :|' and everybody was like 'hehe-haha oh sarah you gave us a heart-attack, for a moment we thought the worst has happened'. And i'm ':|' * sigh* God bless me.

I went to sehrish's house today, though i'd other plans but whatever =/ It was fun, totally better than staying home playing 'tekken5' and watching super comedy. We made endless plans of what we're gonna do this summer (though, in the hearts of our hearts we knew none of 'em is gonna work =p but ah who cares). Rish is maybe the only girl in our college whose company i dont dread. I love spending time with her and listening to her fun stories =]

the end of the innocence.

2005-06-27T00:30:00.000+05:00

listening to the end - nirvana (doors cover)

It hurts to set you free
But you��ll never follow me
The end of laughter and soft lies
The end of nights we tried to die

This is the end
- The end, Doors

I'm sorry we couldnt even make it till there because today i've changed my mind.

meaning of 'sarah' =]

2005-06-24T23:35:00.000+05:00

listening to starless and bible black by king crimson

One of those days when the remote is in mother's hand and she is changing chanels and she finds a show on some chanel which are pimping a few popular websites. One of 'em which caught my eye, it was bout analysis of your name. I couldnt help but take a look at it and was surprised as to how true it was.

Your name of Sarah makes you easy-going and refined, but detracts from your physical vitality. You desire all the finer things in life--lovely clothes, home, furniture, and environment. However, procrastination is your worst enemy, and you find yourself lacking the ambition to make your dreams a reality often because of lack of confidence. People are inclined to take advantage of your sympathetic, tractable nature. You naturally attract people with problems who seek your understanding and advice.

Look for your names here.

and i'm quite aware we're dying.

2005-06-23T22:25:00.000+05:00

listening to life goes on - tupac shakur. [dusti]

Its hot. "take your cloths off" wali hott-ness. And PMS makes it all worst.

I' didnt sleep all night since i'd a practical of psychology at 8 in the morning. I' studied for a while and then i smoked and listened to some amazing music i uploaded on the mp3 last night including the best song of yesterday night tupac's life goes on *salute*. In the examination hall, i was seated at the end of a long row where the fans werent even working. I nearly died. I was surrounded by my close-friends so it wasnt tough. Like we cheated, like we chatted, like we bitched, like the examiner told us to shutup for 200 times, like we the noisy girls in the end, like we laughed, like we had fun (yes, even in the unbearable heat).

So, i came home slept for a few hours. Since then i'm doing nothing. Oh yes, i wrote a whole long letter to sir tupac but the freaking lights went out (damn wapda) and the whole post never made it to the poor blogger =p but ah well, some other day.

My current playlist on MP3:

1. You belong with me - marc anthony.
2. Always - blink 182.
3. Knocking on heavens door - bob dylan.
4. A new day has come - celine dion.
5. Invisible - clay aiken.
6. Crash into me - dave mathews band.
7. Everybody loves somebody - dean martin [a must hear]
8. Dheere dheere se (remix)
9. Romeo and juliet - dire straits.
10. Call on me - eric prydz.
11. Think twice - eve6.
12. Rich girl ft. eve - gwen stefani.
13. Hollaback girl - gwen stefani.
14. Riders on the storm - the doors.
15. The end - Nirvana (doors cover).
16. Beautiful soul - jesse mccartney.
17. Whole lotta love - led zeppelin.
18. Nothing else matters - metallica.
19. In my arms - mylo [on repeat sometimes]
20. Wish you were here - pink floyd.
21. Accidently in love - counting crows
22. We're all to blame - sum41
23. b.y.o.b - system of a down.
24. Mr. brightside - the killers.
25. Life goes on - tupac [a must must must must hear]
26. Ocean avenue - yellowcard.

I'll update my mp3 after every two days now sincee the speakers arent working this is the only way left to listen songs.

of flirty and funky - serious and sober.

2005-06-20T23:20:00.000+05:00

I bought a few CDs today. A new hair straightner. Which me and my sister needed badly. Since we gave our previous one to a girl and she has not returned it yet. Seriously, what the fuck is up with people who borrow stuff and never return it? Bloody suckers =/.

And i saw a local tv model i guess in Al-fatah. Happens everytime you go there. And my heart fell fo' two awesome rings and a pair of shoe, that cool too. So, hopefully will buy it in a day or two.

But the bext thing 'bout today is its monday night on star world. Woo-hoo.